It's raining in the bathroom!

So this afternoon I started a load of laundry and decided to sit in my fancy anti-gravity chair and soak up some sun, which is possible since I'm in sunny Arizona!  As I was getting my Vitamin D I hear a dripping noise.  I start listening closely thinking it doesn't sound like it's coming from the washer, and that would be an odd noise from the washer anyway.

I venture inside to find the source and find water coming from the vent into the toilet.  This does help reduce the mess it's making, but it's still a huge problem.  I start shuffling papers to find my emergency number and after navigating the thousand option menu I leave a message for maintenance.  I then run upstairs to make sure they're a) home and b) alive.  Both turn out to be true, but her toilet is running without end and I can see the water all the way into the hall already.  I come back downstairs and the water is now dripping from the door frame, hallway and kitchen.  I leave another urgent message and being to frantically move everything out of the way.

Kudos to the maintenance guy, he arrived less than 15 minutes after my first call.  He immediately had gone upstairs and turned the toilet off and then came to see what I needed done.  He cleaned it up, explained it would just take a while for the drips to finish and said Monday someone would come fix the bubble in the ceiling.  He also took time to show my how to turn the water to the toilet off should such a thing ever happen to me.  I appreciated that, a lot.

Now a few hours later I hear dripping again.  I look in the bathroom, and do I ever have a bubble in the ceiling. 

So now I have my kitchen garbage can sitting in the bathroom and I'm trying to figure out what to do next.  I'm not sure if this is a new problem, or simply the left over waters escape plan.  For sure it will be a long night if the drip continues because it's pretty loud and not very conducive to sleep.

What did you say?

So I've had three stories from my last assignment that I've been meaning to share, so here goes.

That is not how you get my attention
  My patients call light had been going off and it took a bit before I could get in there.  When I walked in the patient was eating breakfast and, before I could say anything, looks at me and says "This place must be bulletproof!"  I immediately look behind me to the window by the door thinking someone tried to shoot my annoying patient and then look back and say "What?"  "Because when I do this," taking the knife and banging it on the breakfast tray "no one comes in here!"
  I then adopt a stern expression and state "That is never appropriate and I will never respond to that.  If you need me you press your call light.  Please understand that if I am in another room it may take a few minutes."  
  Oh, and the work you're looking for is soundproof.

Tell the truth
  I was helping another nurse get a patient settled, which including putting compression stockings on.  The patient was crying out and the family member in there (who very obviously had their own health issues) said "Remember when I was in the hospital and I didn't want to do what they told me, but you said I had to in order to get better?"  "I LIED" yells the patient.  I immediately bust out laughing and tell the patient that's the funniest thing I've heard all day.  I look at the family member and say "That pep talk went south in a hurry" to which they reply "I'm not sure how I feel about that!"

They did WHAT?
  And then there was the patient who had gone down for a procedure first thing in the morning.  Later in the afternoon they requested something for pain, understandably.  I bring in the medication and ask about the pain.  They proceed to tell me that the numbing for the procedure didn't work because they could feel the whole thing.  Since they've been back several hours I think this is untrue, but don't comment.  When the patients friend then asks how it went, the reply is "They were supposed to seduce me"   I whirl around and say "WHAT?!?" and the friend incredulously repeats "Seduce you?  You mean 'induce'?"  I give her a stupefied look and turn back to the patient "You mean sedate?"  Everyone in the room is just laughing.  A while later I went in to take vital signs and the patient was laying on their side.  To get an accurate blood pressure I ask them to lay flat on their back.  They begin to roll onto their stomach.  I repeat my request louder to no avail.  Finally they get the request and turn the right direction.  I look at his family and say "Don't worry, they're still seduced."

Where's the chicken?

Ok, this just kills me that this even happened.  Saturday night after work my fellow traveler and I decided to get dinner.  I had a coupon at Macaroni Grill so we decided to give it a whirl. 

We were seated quickly, but then had to wait some time before anyone showed up to get a drink order.  We ordered our meals from David and dug into the bread.  Our meals came out and I felt like something was missing on mine.  I had ordered the Mama's Trio, which should have had a Chicken and mushroom Cannelloni, Chicken Parmesan and Lasagna.  I had the Cannelloni and the Lasagna, but where my Chicken Parmesan should have been was just some spaghetti.  Where's the chicken?  So we hailed David and I asked what was supposed to come with what I ordered and he began to list it while looking at my plate.  He trailed off as he realized the problem.  He offers to take my plate back but I've already almost finished the Cannelloni and ask if he can't just bring out a piece of chicken.  Why should I have to stop eating?

DeAngela ordered the Chicken and Mushroom Cannelloni and about halfway through the first one she says something's missing.  Where's the chicken?  And the mushrooms?  I had already finished my Cannelloni and realized mine hadn't contained any chicken or mushroom either.  It had tasted like spinach and cheese and was great, but not chicken and mushrooms.  We hailed David again.  She explained the problem and he offered to get the manager because he has no idea since he doesn't eat that meal.  He seemed to be getting a little frustrated.

The manager comes to the table to explain that they have updated the foods they served but not yet their menus, and David should have informed us that they no longer have chicken and mushroom cannelloni but instead are serving spinach and cheese cannelloni.  So she bring DeAngela a piece of chicken as well.  DeAngela was not impressed as she would have ordered something different given that information.  David then comes back and explains that the update was on the website and he hadn't looked at that.  Not I'm thinking David isn't too bright or is lazy, I'm not sure at this point.

We decide to get salads to go for leftovers at work on Sunday and ask for the dressing on the side.  In order to use the coupon we come up a quarter short so we add on a loaf of bread to go.  The salads come out with the dressing on the side but no lid on the dressing...because they're out of those.  Paying the check becomes a struggle when David says he can split the check between us (which I was pretty sure with the coupon wouldn't work) and sure enough we lost the discount when he split it.  We finally get the check paid (and I was not returned my original copy with the survey offer, which I think was a deliberate move on Davids part, I'm leaning more towards not too bright) and we realize we didn't get the to-go bread. 

I walk over to the manager because I'm quite certain David is now scared of us and not coming back to our table, and tell her we're missing the bread.  I mention this wasn't my best dining experience ever and she asks to see the receipt.  I explain I only have the copy of the payment as the original receipt was not returned to me.  She appeared to be trying very hard to not roll her eyes, but she wasn't quite successful.  She tries to reprint the receipt without luck and so catches someones attention and tells them to get David.  She hands me the bread and asks me to wait.  She then goes and gets the original receipt with my survey offer from David and makes sure I have it before leaving. 

DeAngela and I agreed the food was good, but the experience was a disaster.  She of course blames it on me....because I was there and these things happen with such frequency in my life.  We had wonderful leftovers at lunch on Sunday and laughed as we shared the story.  I think we should have gotten something free for as much work as it was just to get what we ordered.  I will definitely mention that in the survey!

Magic milk

So it's been a while, but that doesn't mean nothing has happened!  As always my life is full of random moments that keep me laughing.

I'm currently in Augusta, GA and so far it's been great.  I'm only 3 hours from the grandparents and family and have been there twice already.  While I was here last week we picked up grandma's car from an oil change and on our way to the grocery store discovered the speedometer wasn't working...we appeared to be going 80 in a 45.  Later that day I was driving the car and realized the speedometer was telling us kilometers per hour instead of miles.  She'd recently had the battery changed and somehow it has converted to the metric system.  At least it was an easy fix.

Last week I walked into a patient's room, and the patient's son was looking out the window that looks at the ER, and he exclaims "I can't believe my neighbor is going to the ER!"  This cracked me up because the poor neighbor is probably going to get grilled about that later!  There isn't much privacy in the South sometimes!

And finally, I have magic milk!  I am living in a "corporate apartment" which also functions as a bed and breakfast.  I had bought some milk and put my room number on it and left it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.  I was gone for a few days and when I got home I realized there was definitely less milk than when I left.  No biggie, it's just milk.  That night I get home and put something in the fridge and I have way more milk!!  It's like magic!  But I don't really want to drink that milk now.

And here's a link to my latest hiking adventure.  Tallulah Gorge is so cool, even if the stairs will almost kill you!  I think it was definitely worth it.  https://flic.kr/s/aHsk3DPPEr 

Everything really IS bigger in Texas

So last year when I left Texas I drove to Arizona.  I discovered that everything is bigger in Texas, including nothing!  Last week I learned that even the hail is bigger in Texas.  I know hail exists in the baseball to softball size but I have never witnessed such an event.  I hope I never do again.

Last Thursday while I was at work the hospital was beset with hail that ranged from golf ball to grapefruit in size.  It was not pretty, at all.  My car was totaled, as were many other cars of employees and patient families.  I used garbage bags and gorilla tape to patch the Journey up to get back and forth to work until I could get a replacement.  Today I flew home to Des Moines and tomorrow I will drive my new Journey back to Texas.  

On the plus side some pretty funny stuff happened at work.  I had a student notice that a patient was charted as pregnant and lactating.  Not the biggest deal except they were an octogenarian.  I told the student to call the Guinness Book of World Records!  Turns out the admitting nurse had trouble with the admission profile scrolling and clicked those options on accident.  She and the patient had already had a good laugh about it.


Another funny thing was catching a patient trying to make a break for it.  I had seen the patient in a wheelchair being pushed by the unit clerk from a neighboring unit.  As I went to check on one of my patients I saw the same wheelchair patient alone, wheeling casually through the waiting room.  I watched as the patient turned the corner towards some offices and immediately increased their speed.  I quickly caught the patient and asked where they thought they were going.  I returned the patient to their unit, which I think did not make that patient happy.

And finally.  I had a patient on a breathing machine with a mask.  It is very difficult to understand what anyone says into the call light when they wear that mask, so I went to see what this patient needed.  They told me they could chew the pill in their mouth and needed to spit it out.  This concerned me as I had not given them a pill.  So I took off the mask and the patient spit out their lower dentures.  They looked a bit surprised by this, because they had been certain they had a pill in their mouth.

If you haven't seen pictures of the car, here is the link.  I included a picture of my new one.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/35077813@N03/sets/72157645263630951/

My umbrella's broken

So last month we had girl's weekend in Asheville, NC.  As always there was no shortage of laughter.  You cannot take my mom and I anywhere, seriously!  But it was a great time with family and a most beautiful wedding with a breathtaking bride.

My mom, my aunt, my grandma and I went to the Biltmore Estate because I just love that place and wanted to share it with these women.  We took to the scenic route up and it was so a great drive through the mountains.  We ate at The Gourmet Chip Factory in downtown, and if you ever get to Asheville I highly recommend it.  They make great chips and the sandwiches were quite tasty. 

When we got to the Biltmore it had started raining, and that's really where the drama started, too.  Thankfully most drama in our family is hysterical.  This drama involved an umbrella and a shuttle of people who got to watch the craziness unfold.  My aunt had two umbrellas and said "one of these doesn't work" and proceeded to hand one to my mother.   We see the trolley coming and my aunt and grandma head over there immediately.  Mom is still trying to get herself together. 

She opens her door and tries to open the umbrella.  This is less than successful so she closes her door, because it's raining.  Meanwhile my grandma is partway on the trolley, my aunt is standing with her umbrella just looking at us like we're crazy.  I have a hood so I'm outside the car waiting for mom the get out of the car.  She opens her door again, umbrella doesn't open again and she shuts the door, again. 

I'm now trying to find her jacket in the luggage.  Grandma is now on the trolley and Julie is still watching us like we're crazy (and unbeknownst to us is telling grandma to get off the trolley).  I find the jacket, and get the umbrella open and we dash for the trolley.  My aunt and grandma are now seated and I sit behind them.  Mom gets on and now can't get the umbrella closed.  No one on the trolley is talking, just watching the drama continue.  In an effort to not get everyone wet mom turns the umbrella upside down, but now it's blocking the aisle and she can't get around it to sit by me. 

There is an empty seat across the aisle from my aunt and she finally tells my mom "Sit down, you're embarrassing me" to which everyone in the trolley start laughing.  Mom and my aunt proceed to argue about which umbrella is broken (it wasn't the one my mom had).  At the next stop everyone but our group gets off the trolley. 

After all that we enjoyed our tour through the house and gardens.  Saturday they shopped their way back to Georgia and I was able to attend the wedding of a dear friend.  It was a perfect day and perfect place.  She was a beautiful bride and it was a great ceremony.  I am so happy for her and so excited I got to be there! 

Change of plans

Virginia didn't work out, so I am back in Texas.  And while Abilene wasn't my favorite town, I did really love where I worked and the people I worked with.  I'm not on the same floor, but I like where I'm at and have already reconnected with local friends. 

The big benefit is I'm only on nights for a few weeks and will be back to a day shift.  I have learned as I get older I function better working days.  I'm a complete sun addict after my stint in Arizona.  It's been pretty windy so far, more so than normal according to locals.  If that lets up I shouldn't be crazy at the end of this assignment.

The drive down here went well, with a humorous siting of a truck pulling a trailer of tires on the side of the road with a flat tire.  And I truly love driving through Kansas, I think it's beautiful, especially The Flint Hills.  So far in my travels the only place I have not enjoyed driving through is Nebraska!!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to adventures and funny stories while I'm in TX, because I truly believe it's all in your perspective.  Or maybe I'm just blessed with a great sense of humor and knack for being in the right place at the right time (or wrong place at the wrong time....however you see it).