Magic milk

So it's been a while, but that doesn't mean nothing has happened!  As always my life is full of random moments that keep me laughing.

I'm currently in Augusta, GA and so far it's been great.  I'm only 3 hours from the grandparents and family and have been there twice already.  While I was here last week we picked up grandma's car from an oil change and on our way to the grocery store discovered the speedometer wasn't working...we appeared to be going 80 in a 45.  Later that day I was driving the car and realized the speedometer was telling us kilometers per hour instead of miles.  She'd recently had the battery changed and somehow it has converted to the metric system.  At least it was an easy fix.

Last week I walked into a patient's room, and the patient's son was looking out the window that looks at the ER, and he exclaims "I can't believe my neighbor is going to the ER!"  This cracked me up because the poor neighbor is probably going to get grilled about that later!  There isn't much privacy in the South sometimes!

And finally, I have magic milk!  I am living in a "corporate apartment" which also functions as a bed and breakfast.  I had bought some milk and put my room number on it and left it in the fridge in the shared kitchen.  I was gone for a few days and when I got home I realized there was definitely less milk than when I left.  No biggie, it's just milk.  That night I get home and put something in the fridge and I have way more milk!!  It's like magic!  But I don't really want to drink that milk now.

And here's a link to my latest hiking adventure.  Tallulah Gorge is so cool, even if the stairs will almost kill you!  I think it was definitely worth it.  https://flic.kr/s/aHsk3DPPEr 

Everything really IS bigger in Texas

So last year when I left Texas I drove to Arizona.  I discovered that everything is bigger in Texas, including nothing!  Last week I learned that even the hail is bigger in Texas.  I know hail exists in the baseball to softball size but I have never witnessed such an event.  I hope I never do again.

Last Thursday while I was at work the hospital was beset with hail that ranged from golf ball to grapefruit in size.  It was not pretty, at all.  My car was totaled, as were many other cars of employees and patient families.  I used garbage bags and gorilla tape to patch the Journey up to get back and forth to work until I could get a replacement.  Today I flew home to Des Moines and tomorrow I will drive my new Journey back to Texas.  

On the plus side some pretty funny stuff happened at work.  I had a student notice that a patient was charted as pregnant and lactating.  Not the biggest deal except they were an octogenarian.  I told the student to call the Guinness Book of World Records!  Turns out the admitting nurse had trouble with the admission profile scrolling and clicked those options on accident.  She and the patient had already had a good laugh about it.


Another funny thing was catching a patient trying to make a break for it.  I had seen the patient in a wheelchair being pushed by the unit clerk from a neighboring unit.  As I went to check on one of my patients I saw the same wheelchair patient alone, wheeling casually through the waiting room.  I watched as the patient turned the corner towards some offices and immediately increased their speed.  I quickly caught the patient and asked where they thought they were going.  I returned the patient to their unit, which I think did not make that patient happy.

And finally.  I had a patient on a breathing machine with a mask.  It is very difficult to understand what anyone says into the call light when they wear that mask, so I went to see what this patient needed.  They told me they could chew the pill in their mouth and needed to spit it out.  This concerned me as I had not given them a pill.  So I took off the mask and the patient spit out their lower dentures.  They looked a bit surprised by this, because they had been certain they had a pill in their mouth.

If you haven't seen pictures of the car, here is the link.  I included a picture of my new one.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/35077813@N03/sets/72157645263630951/

My umbrella's broken

So last month we had girl's weekend in Asheville, NC.  As always there was no shortage of laughter.  You cannot take my mom and I anywhere, seriously!  But it was a great time with family and a most beautiful wedding with a breathtaking bride.

My mom, my aunt, my grandma and I went to the Biltmore Estate because I just love that place and wanted to share it with these women.  We took to the scenic route up and it was so a great drive through the mountains.  We ate at The Gourmet Chip Factory in downtown, and if you ever get to Asheville I highly recommend it.  They make great chips and the sandwiches were quite tasty. 

When we got to the Biltmore it had started raining, and that's really where the drama started, too.  Thankfully most drama in our family is hysterical.  This drama involved an umbrella and a shuttle of people who got to watch the craziness unfold.  My aunt had two umbrellas and said "one of these doesn't work" and proceeded to hand one to my mother.   We see the trolley coming and my aunt and grandma head over there immediately.  Mom is still trying to get herself together. 

She opens her door and tries to open the umbrella.  This is less than successful so she closes her door, because it's raining.  Meanwhile my grandma is partway on the trolley, my aunt is standing with her umbrella just looking at us like we're crazy.  I have a hood so I'm outside the car waiting for mom the get out of the car.  She opens her door again, umbrella doesn't open again and she shuts the door, again. 

I'm now trying to find her jacket in the luggage.  Grandma is now on the trolley and Julie is still watching us like we're crazy (and unbeknownst to us is telling grandma to get off the trolley).  I find the jacket, and get the umbrella open and we dash for the trolley.  My aunt and grandma are now seated and I sit behind them.  Mom gets on and now can't get the umbrella closed.  No one on the trolley is talking, just watching the drama continue.  In an effort to not get everyone wet mom turns the umbrella upside down, but now it's blocking the aisle and she can't get around it to sit by me. 

There is an empty seat across the aisle from my aunt and she finally tells my mom "Sit down, you're embarrassing me" to which everyone in the trolley start laughing.  Mom and my aunt proceed to argue about which umbrella is broken (it wasn't the one my mom had).  At the next stop everyone but our group gets off the trolley. 

After all that we enjoyed our tour through the house and gardens.  Saturday they shopped their way back to Georgia and I was able to attend the wedding of a dear friend.  It was a perfect day and perfect place.  She was a beautiful bride and it was a great ceremony.  I am so happy for her and so excited I got to be there! 

Change of plans

Virginia didn't work out, so I am back in Texas.  And while Abilene wasn't my favorite town, I did really love where I worked and the people I worked with.  I'm not on the same floor, but I like where I'm at and have already reconnected with local friends. 

The big benefit is I'm only on nights for a few weeks and will be back to a day shift.  I have learned as I get older I function better working days.  I'm a complete sun addict after my stint in Arizona.  It's been pretty windy so far, more so than normal according to locals.  If that lets up I shouldn't be crazy at the end of this assignment.

The drive down here went well, with a humorous siting of a truck pulling a trailer of tires on the side of the road with a flat tire.  And I truly love driving through Kansas, I think it's beautiful, especially The Flint Hills.  So far in my travels the only place I have not enjoyed driving through is Nebraska!!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to adventures and funny stories while I'm in TX, because I truly believe it's all in your perspective.  Or maybe I'm just blessed with a great sense of humor and knack for being in the right place at the right time (or wrong place at the wrong time....however you see it).

Feel free to go somewhere else, please!

So in a little over a week I have driven over 2500 miles with the briefest of stops at home and Cincinnati.  I'm looking forward to July and being home for a little longer stretch, but I greatly enjoyed the time I was able to spend with friends and family.

I am now in Danville, Virginia.  For supper last night I went to Subway, and I admit by the time I got there I was a little hangry.  The guy in front of me seemed indecisive, and then I realized that he would ask the price of an item, and when told he would say he could go to the sub shop up the road and get it for less.  He did this repeatedly, and I looked at one of the workers and mouthed "So go somewhere else"  and she nodded back at me.

Turns out, he does this all the time.  The poor Subway people have to deal with him frequently.  I do not get it.  The prices aren't going to get cheaper suddenly, and the person making the sandwich isn't the one determining the price.  I call that an exercise in futility.  He finally said he was going to the other sub shop because it was cheaper.  Maybe he owns that shop and was casing the competition? 

Anyway, I figure if that was my first experience in Danville I am in for a real treat of nonstop laughs the next three months!!

Home, sweet home

So I was sent home early my last shift after I discharged 75% of my patients, so I had a two hour head start on my trek home.  It was quite the adventure.  I am home, in one piece and with no go fast awards gained on the way.  We will call it a success!

So that's what Mesa looked like as I left.  It was gorgeous, except that it decided to rain for only the second time since I've been there.  Not really a big deal, but I was driving through  mountains, as it got dark, and I'd never been through there before. 

Once I got passed Payson it decided to fog from the the road up, there were "beware of elk" signs every ten feet and sleet.  As I continued to gain altitude the road became more slushy and my speed dwindled, making a mockery of my two hour head start.

By the time I got to I-40 it was a full out blizzard.  I know I was on the highway, going the right direction, by mostly had no clue what lane I was in as I could see nothing.  Thankfully a semi flew past me and I just followed his taillights and made up some time.

It cleared up once I got passed the Continental Divide, except that's when the crosswinds kicked in.  I decided to keep going because it was too cold to get out of the car.  I made it to Albuquerque, which comes up really sudden.  You know there's a city from the light ahead, but then you crest a hill and boom, there it is!

The picture doesn't do it justice, but it's a pretty cool sight to see at night.  It also meant I was stopping for the night.  It was only 2am local time.  I slept a few hours and got back in the car and decided I was going for broke and making it all the way home.

There were flurries to start out the morning, followed by a dust storm in Texas.  I stopped in Amarillo for coffee and discovered that all Starbucks in Texas towns that start with the letter A absolutely suck.  And I must have passed half the snowbirds from Mesa before Kansas city.  Good news is they don't drive at night, which meant no traffic after 8pm!

This will all be quite the surprise to my mom in the morning as she thinks I'm somewhere in Kansas.  Dad was in the know and Truman was in the basement, so he's already had his big reunion.  Hopefully I can walk in the morning, because after 15 hours in the car I'm a little stiff!

Next stop: Danville, VA

Wow, been a while since I shared.  This contract in AZ has been incredible, and busy.  If I'm not at work I am out running around or hanging by the pool.  I don't think I've ever been this tan!  I did make it to the Grand Canyon, but need at least a month there to do everything I want!  Still so much to explore...next winter!

A couple of funny things have happened that I had to write down to share.  Apparently I am supposed to be psychic along with all my other nursing skills.  I walked into the nurses' station and the doctor was watching the telemetry monitor and asked me what my patient was doing that had his heart rate elevated...because I can look into my crystal ball and tell you!  Instead I told him I would go check, because I had no idea what my patient was doing.

Later that day I was charting and a slightly panicked tech requested help in a patients room.  I run right in there and immediately bust out laughing.  The patient had been sleeping in the recliner with the footrest up, had slid off the stack of pillows in the chair onto the footrest of the chair and tipped the whole recliner forward.  She was laughing so hard!  She said it was the most fun she'd has since getting to the hospital!!

And last, I had an admit that I needed an order for so I paged the physician.  When he called I got the order I needed and asked about some additional labs that I had not seen ordered.  He asked why I would want those and I stated my case and he dismissed my concern.  I hung up the phone, refreshed my screen and he had ordered one of the labs I had asked about.  Good thing he has a nurse to do his job for him!

So today is packing day.  I need to have everything loaded tonight, but still leave room to pick up a friend and her luggage from the airport...this could get interesting.  Then I make a mad dash across country to Iowa, hang with the family for a few days and then head to Cincinnati for some R&R with dearest friends before finally arriving in Danville, VA for 3 months.  I'm excited to be back in that area for a number of reasons.  I already have my travel books ordered and am sure many more adventures will be detailed here!!