It's raining in the bathroom!

So this afternoon I started a load of laundry and decided to sit in my fancy anti-gravity chair and soak up some sun, which is possible since I'm in sunny Arizona!  As I was getting my Vitamin D I hear a dripping noise.  I start listening closely thinking it doesn't sound like it's coming from the washer, and that would be an odd noise from the washer anyway.

I venture inside to find the source and find water coming from the vent into the toilet.  This does help reduce the mess it's making, but it's still a huge problem.  I start shuffling papers to find my emergency number and after navigating the thousand option menu I leave a message for maintenance.  I then run upstairs to make sure they're a) home and b) alive.  Both turn out to be true, but her toilet is running without end and I can see the water all the way into the hall already.  I come back downstairs and the water is now dripping from the door frame, hallway and kitchen.  I leave another urgent message and being to frantically move everything out of the way.

Kudos to the maintenance guy, he arrived less than 15 minutes after my first call.  He immediately had gone upstairs and turned the toilet off and then came to see what I needed done.  He cleaned it up, explained it would just take a while for the drips to finish and said Monday someone would come fix the bubble in the ceiling.  He also took time to show my how to turn the water to the toilet off should such a thing ever happen to me.  I appreciated that, a lot.

Now a few hours later I hear dripping again.  I look in the bathroom, and do I ever have a bubble in the ceiling. 

So now I have my kitchen garbage can sitting in the bathroom and I'm trying to figure out what to do next.  I'm not sure if this is a new problem, or simply the left over waters escape plan.  For sure it will be a long night if the drip continues because it's pretty loud and not very conducive to sleep.

What did you say?

So I've had three stories from my last assignment that I've been meaning to share, so here goes.

That is not how you get my attention
  My patients call light had been going off and it took a bit before I could get in there.  When I walked in the patient was eating breakfast and, before I could say anything, looks at me and says "This place must be bulletproof!"  I immediately look behind me to the window by the door thinking someone tried to shoot my annoying patient and then look back and say "What?"  "Because when I do this," taking the knife and banging it on the breakfast tray "no one comes in here!"
  I then adopt a stern expression and state "That is never appropriate and I will never respond to that.  If you need me you press your call light.  Please understand that if I am in another room it may take a few minutes."  
  Oh, and the work you're looking for is soundproof.

Tell the truth
  I was helping another nurse get a patient settled, which including putting compression stockings on.  The patient was crying out and the family member in there (who very obviously had their own health issues) said "Remember when I was in the hospital and I didn't want to do what they told me, but you said I had to in order to get better?"  "I LIED" yells the patient.  I immediately bust out laughing and tell the patient that's the funniest thing I've heard all day.  I look at the family member and say "That pep talk went south in a hurry" to which they reply "I'm not sure how I feel about that!"

They did WHAT?
  And then there was the patient who had gone down for a procedure first thing in the morning.  Later in the afternoon they requested something for pain, understandably.  I bring in the medication and ask about the pain.  They proceed to tell me that the numbing for the procedure didn't work because they could feel the whole thing.  Since they've been back several hours I think this is untrue, but don't comment.  When the patients friend then asks how it went, the reply is "They were supposed to seduce me"   I whirl around and say "WHAT?!?" and the friend incredulously repeats "Seduce you?  You mean 'induce'?"  I give her a stupefied look and turn back to the patient "You mean sedate?"  Everyone in the room is just laughing.  A while later I went in to take vital signs and the patient was laying on their side.  To get an accurate blood pressure I ask them to lay flat on their back.  They begin to roll onto their stomach.  I repeat my request louder to no avail.  Finally they get the request and turn the right direction.  I look at his family and say "Don't worry, they're still seduced."